Posted by Bunny.
So I guess Jordan from yesterday's Bunny Mailbag was offended by my resonse and took it upon himself to write back. Here's an excerpt:
...I knew you guys would say that you hate Columbus becaues that's the typical response from socialist fucktards like you. I see you'll be in Canada soon so why not just stay there. YOu think they're a utopian paradise? WHAT A JOKE. THEY have the SAME SHIT going on over there and OVERALL it's WORSE. So enjoy your time kissing Canadian ASS and I hope you get detained at the border trying to re-enter the US! Jordan
Hilarious. I'll just make a few points:
1. I don't hate Columbus because I'm a socialist. (When did I say I was a socialist?) I just have a problem with greedy, slave-trading, genocidal maniacs. Plus, he was a poor administrator. Do I need more reasons?
2. Whether we live in Canada or the U.S., we'll still keep up with our critique of U.S. hegemony, thank you very much. Why? Simply because the U.S. remains #1 in messing up the planet. Don't take it so personal, sheesh. As soon as the U.S. steps back from these bad habits, we'll turn our attention to other topics, such as cross-stitching, which is an excellent hobby, by the way. Everyone - even Jordan - should try it.
3. And finally, here's a mini-checklist just I threw together to help answer that profound question advanced by our fan Jordan: "Should We Kiss Canada's Ass: Yes or No?"
Have single-payer health care? Yes.
Have massive drop-dead stupid-scary oil sand project? Yes.
Have homeless people? Lots.
Settler state structure? Yes, just like U.S.
Signed UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples? No, just like U.S.
Signed Convention on Cluster Munitions Treaty? Yes, unlike U.S.
Military spending as % of GDP? 111th in world (U.S. 1st, of course)
Invaded Iraq with U.S.? No.
n Afghanistan? Yes.
Have nuclear weapons? No.
Thinks they own the North Pole? Yes.
Hockey or Baseball? Hockey.
Responsible for making Top Gun & Pretty Woman? No.
Who has prettier flag, U.S. or Canada? Canada.
Tastier ice cream: U.S. or Canada? We'll find out when we get there.
So there it is. Go kiss Canada’s ass if you feel like it, nobody cares.
~Bunny.
P.S. When I get to Canada I will be looking for one of these things (below). A guy I know told me they are large enough to ride.
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Posted by Kim: Isn't Julia Roberts Canadian? Wouldn't that make Canada at least partly responsible for Pretty Woman?
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Posted by Bunny: No, she's not Canadian. Which is another plus for Canada, I suppose.